Photo by Jason Koerner/Getty What’s Dating Like in the 21st Century? It’s no secret that there are a lot of fish in the sea. For every person who’s found love, there’s a zillion others who aren’t even looking. Even if you meet someone with whom you have a connection, it’s impossible to know if you’re meant to be in a relationship with them or not. Modern dating is difficult, especially since people are so busy. You may feel an instant connection with someone, but since it’s so easy to get distracted, you may be hesitant to set up a date with them. Also, in a world of people desperately looking for love, you have to be extra careful not to get your hopes up. It’s just too easy for other people to make a premature move, like sending an unsolicited sexy text message. Or, even worse, a friend or relative may be speaking with you about a potential relationship they know about and say something suggestive. This is why it’s important to wait until your friend asks for advice, because not only is it OK to give advice, it’s also a good idea to let your friends know where you stand before someone else does. I’m Someone You May Know: What Is a Good Match? In the twenty-first century, that someone you may know could be a friend’s parent or their best friend’s cousin. The person you may know could be a friend, your cousin, or your best friend’s boss. The person you may know is someone you see at work. Maybe you have even met them at a party or at a mutual friend’s house. Your friend, your cousin, and your best friend’s boss have already met them. Your friend, your cousin, and your best friend’s boss have already talked about them—and who knows what they said? Even if you haven’t met a person you may know yet, as soon as you do, you’re going to be asked who they are. Either way, you may have a couple of options. 1. “How’s Marriage?” The only way to approach this is to ask in a way that isn’t too personal. Even if you’re friends with the person, it’s usually OK to ask, “How is marriage treating you?” or “How’s it going with the kids?” as long as you don’t inquire about marriage plans right out of the gate. If you’re going to ask a question like that,
Dating is a new form of currency. You’re simply swiping left or right to choose your next partner. It can be thrilling—especially when you strike gold—but it’s also easier to be objective than it sounds. Dates can be confusing—part of the fun of dating, after all, is playing the guessing game. When to call, how to initiate and respond, and where to take your first date are all questions on the minds of the concerned—and increasingly curious—ones out there. If you are new to the town, you may even feel a little overwhelmed. And then there are so many options: online dating, bar dates, speed dating, and old-fashioned swipes from the singles pool. But it’s important that you’re choosing the proper way to approach your search for a relationship. After all, I’m not the only one who has picked up on the fact that people are getting a little too casual with the dating game. And let’s face it: Dating can be a little intimidating, and it has nothing to do with confidence. Even if you are completely comfortable with yourself and are a good conversationalist, the idea of putting your best self forward and being vulnerable with a stranger who may become the love of your life is, well, daunting. If you’re in the market for a relationship—whether it’s a casual fling or something long-term—consider this your guide to modern dating. 1. Do your homework ahead of time Man, you should be setting up your first date in five or six years instead of straight from the beginning. You just want to talk to other people and maybe make some friends. Do your research. Ask yourself a few questions. What’s my type? Do I have a preference? Don’t let new-to-town anxiety turn you into a nervous wreck. You’re not going on your first date with the intention to go out with someone who is perfect for you, whether it’s a first date or a long-term relationship, so get your damn thoughts in order. 2. Know Your ‘A’ Game Do you have what it takes to be charming, funny, and a good conversationalist? Or are you the type who is socially awkward and needs to make small talk with strangers just to stay in the conversation? Take a test drive. While there is no one perfect type of person to date, most people are a mix of all of the following arche